Just Broken Up

The constant fighting, the long silent hours, the inability to get intimate—these things can drive you crazy to the point of breaking up with your partner. But take heart; there’s no need to need to ditch the relationship just yet. Here are tips for saving a relationship:

Acknowledge the problem.It may not have dawned on you yet, but you already have that sinking feeling that something is wrong with the relationship. Though it’s hard to admit that you possibly have played your part into making things worse, it’s good to know that you still have the chance to repair your relationship. Start by identifying the problem and accept that it really exists. As a mature adult, you should know how to take accountability, and it’s your and your partner’s responsibility to make things work.
Give your partner some space.Sometimes we can’t see things for what they truly are unless we distance ourselves. Taking a break in a relationshipcan be refreshing for you and your partner. It’s a way of respecting each other’s need to be alone. Just be clear with your terms (for how long it’s going to be or how you’re going to communicate while you’re apart) and keep each other updated with your individual progresses.
Spend time together that would bring back the spark into your relationship.

Do something romantic. Okay, maybe not totally romantic but something really thoughtful. Remember the time when you and your partner first got together? You couldn’t wait to surprise your partner with home-cooked dinner that you prepared yourself. Recreate that moment by doing something special for your partner. You can spend a night at the movies or in a posh restaurant—anything that would bring back the spark into your relationship—and have a good time.

You don’t have to resort to a break up the moment you feel that your relationship is on the rocks. Coping recovering from a break up is harder and requires a lot of effort than saving a relationship. Do whatever you can to salvage whatever’s left of your relationship with your partner and save yourself hours’ worth of professional therapy.

{ 1 comment }

Stop a Break Up Now

August 8, 2011

Saving a relationship could save you more tears than going through a break up and trying to get back together.

Most people who are coping recovering from a break up feel that they have failed in one major aspect of their lives. It’s like all the effort and the time devoted to that one special person and relationship have suddenly turn to waste. That wouldn’t have happened if most people know the effective ways to saving a relationship.

To simply allow fate take its course is a mindless and irresponsible way of stopping a break up. A lot of people believe in destiny, but destiny alone is not going to keep you and your partner together for good if you don’t take action.

When you feel your partner is slipping away—he’s suddenly become distant or she’s quickly irritated by you—that is time to take action… quick! You might have noticed the signs earlier on but you choose to ignore them. You’re going to pay a big price for that. Before everything spirals out of your control, you need to stick your neck out and do some preventive measures to keep the relationship intact.

But before you respond to the situation, you must first analyze what went wrong in the relationship. It takes two to tango, as they say, and you might have unknowingly hurt your partner’s feelings. Once you’ve determined the root of the problem, you can start attacking the problem one step at a time.

Begin by focusing more on your partner. The less time you spend with your partner, the more that he or he is going to move away from you. If you weren’t communicating openly, exert effort to let your partner know what’s going on with you and what’s on your mind. Small efforts oftentimes lead to great results, so even if you are taking baby steps, you are moving one step closer to your goal.

If your partner feels that he or she needs to take a breather, consider the option. A lot of people are scared of taking a break in a relationship because it often leads to break ups. But you can use that time apart to improve yourself and to make your partner feel that you’re willing to do everything to make the relationship work.

Saving a relationship could save you more tears than going through a break up and trying to get back together. It takes time to repair a damaged bond, but it’s an effort that is worth doing.

How to Release the Pain of Breaking Up

August 5, 2011

Whoever said that crying after breaking up is a sign of weakness must have a heart of stone. Break ups, no matter how infuriating at times, are always hurtful. It requires a very strong person to get over the pain, and the best way to let loose of hurt is by crying.

A good deal of weeping can make your heart feel lighter in minutes. Though it’s possible that you will cry again as soon as you hear your song on the radio, crying brings a promise of healing after a break up.

While anger could also make you easily forget (by transforming love into hate), it is yet another negative emotion that you don’t need in your life. If you want to move on after a break up, you need to divert all your attention from your ex to other important things in your life.

Doing this all by yourself is never easy. You need the support and love of other people around you to make recovery a lot faster. Talk to your friends about it and seek their advice. Better yet, talk to a friend from an opposite sex and see things from the perspective of another gender.

If you ever feel the need to be alone, then do so. This will be a good time for you to reflect on the things that happened in your life. People who meditate have a better grasp on analyzing things. Meditating will also help you think of your actions more thoroughly as opposed to acting irrationally. If you can’t find the answer you’ve been looking for from the people around you, a prayer (regardless of religion) is a good measure for coping with break up.

The pain of breaking up may not subside that easily, but eventually it will. After all the tears have been shed, it’s time for you to get back on your feet and reclaim the happiness you once had. No one else ought to tell you how you should feel or what you should do, but it’s all up to you how fast your recovery to be.

Breaking Up and Recovery – How to Make Yourself Fall Out of Love

August 2, 2011

It’s so easy to fall in love. It is one of the most pleasurable feelings in the world. But to fall out of love is another story, especially if you need to forget the pain of breaking up.

When you are unappreciated, when your trust has been broken, and when you’ve been treated like dirt—these are all good reasons for a break up. But what if the reason is that your ex has found someone new? Would you be able to cope up with the shock and hurt?

If you want healing after a break up, you must fall out of love with your ex first. It sounds ludicrous, but it’s the only way you can almost completely forget about your ex.

Make a list of reasons why you weren’t meant to be together. It could be something like the two of arguing each time you are together or maybe the two of you are just incompatible in a lot of things. Write down each reason on a piece of paper, and you might be surprised to learn about things you subconsciously deny.

Throw away anything that reminds you of your ex.

Remove everything that reminds you of your ex. Coping with break up means forgetting about the past, and you can’t do that when you still have your ex’s number on speed dial. Clear your home of every picture, letter and other memento that you shared with your former love. Without these physical reminders of our brokenhearted-ness, you’ll be able to concentrate on other things that matter like earning a higher degree, earning a promotion or traveling the world.

Though it would be nice to transform your love for your ex into hate, it’s not always possible. Besides, you don’t need any more negativity in your life so concentrate on the person that matters now: YOU. Despite the heart ache that breaking up brought you, you need to look forward and love yourself more.

A Simple Guide to Saving a Relationship

July 31, 2011

Listen to your partner. Your partner will have his or her share of disappointments in you.

Being in a rocky relationship can make you question your ability to keep another person happy. But a relationship is never a one-way street, and oftentimes, it takes both parties to make a relationship work or to destroy it. Saving a relationship is good idea if you honestly believe there’s still hope for you and your partner. Here are some of the things you can do if you want to give your relationship one more shot:

Acknowledge the problem. A lot of people blame their partners for pulling the relationship down. But no one really has the upper hand in making the relationship work. It takes both partners to admit to themselves that something has gone wrong and it needs to be set right. You cannot make the relationship work unless you know what the problem is. So take time to sit down with your partner and discuss this.
Listen to your partner. Your partner will have his or her share of disappointments in you. Don’t let this become the starting point of yet another argument. Listen sincerely to what your partner has to say. Respect your partner’s time to talk by resisting the urge to blurt in when you find something that you don’t agree with.
Share your thoughts. Now that you know what your partner was thinking, it’s time for you to say what’s on your mind too. Tell your partner how you feel whenever you scream at each other during an argument. Stick to the facts only and never attack your partner’s character. Keep a cool head and don’t let yourself be overwhelmed with emotions that you unconsciously raise your voice.
Plan an action. Once you’ve determined what the problem is, it’s time for you to do something about it. Plan an action that will lead you to your desired goal. Taking a break in a relationship may be a good idea if you cannot think clearly while your partner is around. Just be sure you are clear with your terms and when to get back together if that is ultimately your decision.
Keep track of your progress. You may have stumbling blocks along the way, but that’s fine. The important thing is you keep your partner updated with what’s going on with your life and on whatever realizations you might have about the relationship. If you haven’t been communicative with your partner, now’s a good time to begin.

Saving a relationship is a much better option than going through a break up. Coping recovering from a break up is a more difficult situation, so do your best to salvage whatever’s left of your relationship.

Saving a Relationship – Doing Damage Control

July 29, 2011

Saving a relationship is not an easy issue to tackle. What may work for one couple may not work for another. It’s because couples are not the same and relationships are often too complex to be handled in the same way.

Communication is the key to a lasting relationship.

However, there are ways that have been proven that can help salvage relationships. You can even use these pieces of advice when coping recovering from a break up.

Stay positive.There’s a lot more to positive thinking than just a marketing hype by book authors. Keeping a positive mindset in your relationship helps couples see the merits of continuing the relationship. Oftentimes, this is a challenge especially if there are trust issues involved. But staying positive will let you focus more on the good and help you save your relationship.
Keep constant communication.Communication is the one thing that’s often missing in relationships. Most relationships fail because couples find it a challenge to communicate openly with their partners. Communication doesn’t have to be a serious conversation about the relationship. Start small. Begin by initiating small talks with your partner and take it from there.
Spending time apart. Taking a break in a relationship can help couples reevaluate their commitment to each other. This temporary separation could bring so many realizations, both good and bad, so you have to prepare whatever the outcome may be. This is where the importance of optimism is very relevant.
Trust your partner. While taking a breakin a relationshipgives you time to assess where your life is heading, it could also be a time when suspicion about your partner’s activities are at its highest. Though you still remain in contact, you don’t get to keep tabs on whatever your partner is doing, and that could make you feel uncomfortable. Have faith in your partner that he or she is doing the right thing while you’re not together. And if he or she doesn’t, that’s a very good reason for you to move on.

While there is no one formula for saving a relationship, you can do any of the ways given above to get your relationship back on track. There’s no guarantee that it’s going to be easy, but it’s always worth the try.

{ 2 comments }

Healing after Breaking Up

July 29, 2011

Break ups could be a stab at the heart or a breath of relief. For most people, it’s the latter and it could feel like the end of the world. Though moving on after breaking up is difficult, it is possible. Here are some tips to help you get on your way to recovery:

Give yourself time to heal.They say time heals all wounds. Though it’s cliché, it holds true all the time. You can’t expect yourself to get over your ex when all his or her pictures are still lying in front of you. Healing after a break up is a lot faster if you don’t have anything with you that reminds you of your ex. While dumping all the stuff he’d given you and erasing his number from your phone, give it all a good cry. It’s okay to show some vulnerability, just don’t go overboard. After all the wallowing, get your act together and start facing the world.
Hang out with you old friends and family - they will give you the support you need in the process of healing from a breakup.

Seek support from family and friends. Coping with break up is difficult if you don’t have anything or anyone to distract you. Start hanging out with old friends and visiting your family. They are now your sources of strength and can help you forget about your ex even if for a brief moment. This is also a good time for you to reestablish your relationship with those people whom you’ve temporarily set aside when you were still with your ex.
Get your old life back. Crying over the break up is okay, but don’t forget that you have a life. Go ahead and travel to places you’ve never been to if your budget permits or get a long, luxurious back massage at a spa. You need to take care of the person you’ve neglected for far too long, and that person is you. At the same time, you can also meet new people. If you’re not ready to get back to the dating circle yet, then don’t. The important thing is that you don’t hold yourself hostage to your sorrows. Enjoy life while you still can and a new love will come into your life unexpectedly.

Moving on after breaking up is possible if you let time to its job. You can always make a clean break as long as you stay optimistic and determined about moving on.

Breaking up and Moving on with Your Life

July 27, 2011

Nothing else in the world is more dreaded than the end of things. Saying adieu to a person you love is like watching a part of your life go down the drain. Though breaking up can make you feel like you’ve failed life big time, there is still so much more going on for you and the break up was not the end of it all.

Coping with a break upmay seem unlikely when you have just been jilted, but it is possible. Here’s how to get your life back on track after a break up:

Acknowledge your feelings. It’s okay to feel angry. It’s alright if you want to wallow in sorrow for a while. Releasing your emotions is the start of healing after a break up. But after that initial outburst of emotion, get your feet off the door and do something to distract yourself from the pain.
Go out with friends. When was the last time you had a good long talk with friends? Being in a relationship makes people ensconce themselves in the relationship, keeping friends and family out of the picture. Call your friends to hang out. This is a very good time for you to catch up with what’s going on and to divert your attention away from your ex.
Focus on improving yourself. When we become too focused on a relationship, we sometimes forget how to take care of ourselves. The end of a relationship is a good time to focus on yourself, to do the things that you’ve always wanted to do but never got to.
Cut all ties with your ex. The mere thought of your ex could send you thinking about your bitter past. It’s not a good idea to call your ex or to ‘accidentally’ bump into him or her. Be resolute about getting over the relationship by stopping all communications with your ex.

Though it may seem like there’s no getting over the past, you can still move on and take control of yourself after breaking up. The process is not an easy one and there’s no guarantee that you’ll get over your ex quickly, but it is possible.

Get Her Back Now – The Rules of the Game

July 22, 2011

in Get Back Together

The message is clear: She wants out. And you don’t feel the same. Or maybe you did, but realized a bit too late that you were wrong. Now you want her back in your life. Desperately. Should you call her right now and tell her everything that you feel? Do you need to buy her gifts to show that you are sorry?

The answer to both of those questions is NO.

It may sound counterintuitive, but showering your ex with all the attention will drive her even farther away from you. Think of it this way: What did you do when she kept on nagging you about your late nights out with your friends? You wanted to break away and do exactly the opposite of what she’s telling you not to do. These may be two different scenarios, but both work on the same kind of psychology.

When a girl tells you that she needs space, more often than not, she means it. Whether she’s verbally expressed this or not, you should respect her decision even if it hurts so badly. Give her space; that’s what she’s been asking for, wasn’t it? This time apart is a healthy way of keeping your head above the water.

Whatever happens during the course of your being apart from each other, never, EVER, send her gifts, ask where she’s going and who she’s with, and stop her from dating anyone else. First of all, sending her gifts is a pathetic way of showing her that you’ve messed up badly. It comes off like you’re bribing her to get back with you. When she’s out, don’t keep tabs on her. You don’t have the right anymore. Let her do what she plans to do, but keep communication lines open.

It’s not easy to get you ex back especially if you’re the one who broke up with her. But there are ways to help you get her back. It can be a long process, but nonetheless truly worth it.